Wednesday, January 27, 2010

As a science teacher this made me want to cry a little....

Article from theonion.com:

Science Channel Refuses To Dumb Down Science Any Further
January 26, 2010 | Issue 46•04

SILVER SPRING, MD--Frustrated by continued demands from viewers for more awesome and extreme programming, Science Channel president Clark Bunting told reporters Tuesday that his cable network was "completely incapable" of watering down science any further than it already had.
An ad for the Science Channel's easy-to-pronounce gourd-launching show, Punkin Chunkin .


"Look, we've tried, we really have, but it's simply not possible to set the bar any lower," said a visibly exhausted Bunting, adding that he "could not in good conscience" make science any more mindless or insultingly juvenile. "We already have a show called Really Big Things , which is just ridiculous if you think about it, and one called Heavy Metal Taskforce , which I guess deals with science on some distant level, though I don't know what it is. Plus, there's Punkin Chunkin ."


" Punkin Chunkin for Christ's sake," added Bunting, referring to the popular program in which contestants launch oversized pumpkins into the air using catapults. "What more do you people want?"


Along with Bunting's remarks, the Science Channel issued a statement claiming that it currently airs more than 150 programming hours that are tangentially, and often laughably, related to science, and that staff members are unable to bring themselves to make those hours even more asinine.
Test audiences responded poorly to the show's "overly-scientific" method of dropping a bear 300 feet.
Debbie Myers, general manager of the Science Channel, said the cable station has maintained a balance of 5 percent science content and 95 percent mind-numbing drivel over the past few years, and that this was as far as they were willing to go.
"At this point, having the word 'how' in a show's title is about as close to scientific investigation as we get," Myers said. "In fact, I don't even know how we can justify airing a show like Mantracker at all. A cowboy hunts contestants down using his trailing skills? I guess you could say it makes the audience use 'observation' by watching what happens on screen."


"Observation is a part of science, right?" Myers added. "Jesus Christ."
A survey of the network's current schedule confirmed Monday that on-air demonstrations of such basic scientific principles as "inertia" and "momentum" are mostly relegated to pushing a blindfolded participant strapped to an office chair down a steep hill, while other concepts, such as "sublimation," are regularly demonstrated by strapping dynamite to a large fiberglass Big Boy statue and then watching it explode.
As evidence of their refusal to further water down programming, network sources pointed to a number of proposed shows they've abandoned in recent weeks, including an animal-based bungee-jumping program called Extreme Gravity , and Atom Smashers , a series that was was roundly rejected by focus groups as being "too technical" and "not awesome enough."


"People liked that the particle accelerators were really huge, but apparently the show didn't have enough smashing to hold their interest," said a former employee who wished to remain anonymous. "In the end, it was either add a huge monster truck for no reason whatsoever or pull the plug on the entire project. Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to face my wife and children had we gone through with it."
While they won't be dumbing down their already crude lineup of shows, Science Channel officials assured viewers that the network will continue to cater to the lowest common denominator and will keep airing embarrassingly base content completely stripped of all intellectual integrity. Officials also noted that the cable channel greatly values the 18- to 45-year-old demographic of louts, clods, and empty-headed dumb fucks.
"I don't like it when the science people talk about things no one can even understand," said Rich Parker, an Ohio resident. "It's like, just quit your yapping and dip the chain saw into the liquid nitrogen already."
David Zaslav, CEO of the network's parent company, Discovery Communications, said he has not ruled out rebranding the Science Channel as the Stuff Channel.



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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I miss my darkwing duck...

All spring, summer, and fall some sort of quacking type of animal would sit right outside my bedroom window and quack up a storm very early in the morning. Try as I might, I never actually got a look at what it was that was doing all this quacking. On numerous occasions I dragged myself out of bed to stick my head out the window to try to catch a glimpse of said elusive creature, but to no avail. Either it was very good at making a speed get away or it was stealthy enough to hide completely in the shrubbery that borders my building.

Because of its proclivity for evading me, I began refering to it as "darkwing duck". For those of you that are unfamilar with the reference see below. I realize today that it has been quite sometime since I have heard my evasive little friend, and I sort of miss him. I am sure he had to move on to warmer locals for the winter, but I hope he finds his way back home in the spring....




"Darkwing Duck is an American animated television series produced by The Walt Disney Company that ran from 1991-1995 and 1996-1997 on both the syndicated programming block The Disney Afternoon and Saturday mornings on ABC. It featured an eponymous superhero anthropomorphic duck with the alter ego of Drake Mallard (voiced by Jim Cummings). It is the first of two spin-offs of Ducktales." from wikipedia.com

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

They're Done!

I finished my Devons!



I credit an afternoon of knitting with Rachel to getting them done this weekend! Even though I had to rip out a large section of the foot (I totally messed up the pattern because I was watching tv, talking, and not paying any attention to where I was on the chart!).



I am still committed to my pair of socks a month stash burning challenge. I have now completed a pair in Dec and a pair in Jan. Before casting on a Feb pair I am going to attempt to finish a pair that I've had sitting around for quite some time. They were already complete socks once, but when I wore them for the first time they grew and grew and grew... they grew until they no longer fit in my my shoes! So I ripped them out and cast on fewer stitches on smaller needles. I was using my knitpicks 0 fixed circulars when I accidently pulled a bit too hard while magic looping, and the needle popped right off the cable! I've never had that happen before. So they have been sitting in a corner for a few months, but now I am determined to finish them up!


Sunday, January 17, 2010

One down...

I finished my first Devon sock. It took longer than it should have because I had to start over. On the first attempt I got past the heel turn and gusset decreases only to discover it didn't really fit over my heel very well! I went up a needle size for the leg and only did three repeats of the chart (pattern called for 4, but 3 made the socks plenty tall enough for me!). Hopefully the second one will go much faster now that I know what changes to make.





Oh yeah, and the toe came out weirdly pointy... I am not sure what is up with that, but it looks fine on so I am not going to fret about it!


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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Sucess!

Dinner last night was very tasty. This recipe is definately a keeper! It was super easy and really quick.

The only thing I changed was that I added shallots in with the mushrooms (just because I bought more than I needed for a different recipe and do not want them to go to waste).

I wonder what I should make next?


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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Attempting to cook...

gLThose of you who know me, know that I do not cook. It is not that I don't like to eat! It's just that I never really learn, nor to I have many pots or pans or other cooking tools.

So, along with my sock a month plan (see previous post) I made a cooking related new year's resolution: one new recipe a week. Money is tight, so I am trying to keep the recipes simple with out too many or too complicated ingrediants! I am also striving for healthy and fairly low in calories and fat (with the occasional indulgences of course!).

On the menu for tonight: Balsamic Chicken w/ Mushrooms (from weightwatchers.com) and Spinach




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Monday, January 11, 2010

January Devons

Here are the beginnings of my January socks, they are the Devon pattern from the book "Sock Innovation" by cookie a.

Sadly after finishing the heel and gusset decreases I went to try it on and discovered it did not fit over my heel very well... Thankfully it is a quick moving pattern and even after starting over Saturday I am already on the heel flap!









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Sunday, January 10, 2010

a pair of socks a month...

I wonder, can I do it for a year? It would certainly help make a dent in my stash. I have sworn off buying sock yarn until I use up what I have and this seems like a good way to do it!

So far:

December Socks:





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